Today

Right now i feel passive. I just feel tired emotionally but i cant figure out how i'me feeling. Possibly this is because i'me too tired and it is late. Today i had very mixed emotions. I wrote my first poem in PE. It was the first time i ever felt depressed at school and i was hanging on to the bench things in W park. Emily W called me a freak and Ellie P moved away from me to the other side of the bench. I put my head on my hands and pretended to be passive. I felt it pulling me under then. I wanted to get away from the stupid empty people in the room. I wrote and Lucy E exclaimed across the court that i was doing so. I pretended to be doing something else but then i kept writing and that i think is when i came up with the idea for this blog. Danielle my empty supposed friend ditched me walking back to school. I call her empty because i am not going to waste any other words on my so called friend. Nobody in that classroom will ever know who i am because nobody will ever think in the same way as i do, past the mundane into the truth. Therefore i will always stand out. Even if they do not ridicule me because i fit it somewhat i will never be like them. I will always care. I will always be different. I had an ok evening and a normal rest of the day that i am not going to discuss. The blackness is gone now,the loneliness (partially) is gone and the nausea is gone but it will be back.